"Do you miss the bups Mommy? I miss the bups." -Recent words out of the mouth of my three year old.Children have such a way with words, don't they? My little boy's words are so simple, but so full of love and meaning. For those of you who are wondering what "bups" are, that is what my little boy says when he wants me to pick him up and hold him. He came into my bathroom the other day while I was putting on my makeup, snuggling his favorite bear to his face. He looked up at me with those big brown, long-lashed eyes, and let me know what was on his mind. Clearly, it is the simplest things he misses the most since I have been put on strict bed rest. And, I don't think he could have said it better. He's right. "Bups" are the kinds of things that should matter the most, all the time. It is just way too easy to take the jewels of simplicity for granted when we have them sparkling in front of us every day.
I think God must have decided I really needed a break or a wake up call to stop and smell the roses. Today is day #103 on bed rest, and I still have 13 weeks to go before our precious bun in the oven will be considered fully cooked. Bed rest for a girl like me, who has never been good at sitting still, can be a much dreaded nightmare. After crying, worrying, and protesting, it occurred to me that I am living a once in a lifetime opportunity. These are my doctors' orders. I have been told to do nothing. How many people are lucky enough to get to do nothing, guilt free, AND still have their health in tact?
That brings me to thinking about my top 10 bed resting blessings...
10. A bed staycation. Basically, I get an inarguable excuse to be lazy on purpose. It's an art, really, and no one can be mad at me for it. I am just following doctors' orders. In fact, some people even feel sorry for me, which can have many advantages, especially when it comes to my husband.
9. Catch up time for living, life, and culture. I have all of this new found time...time to soak in movies, books, blogs, and other forms of social media and networking. I even have time for all those phone calls I've been meaning to make but haven't gotten around to just yet. Oh, and did I mention that I have played, and gotten quite good at, some of my son's favorite video games? Yes, it feels good to be a kid sometimes!
8. Same shoes, new feet. My husband has been forced to fit his big daddy, bread-winning feet in my little, stay at home mommy shoes day in and day out and take off running. He now knows that it's no cake walk in my shoes, and my shoes come with many "hats." On top of his daddy duties, my husband is learning to be a nurse, a babysitter, a maid, a teacher, a disciplinarian, a mediator, a house manager, a taxi driver, a cook, a social coordinator, and a personal shopper just to name few. With new shoes, it would be easy for him to run away, but he's jumping in and stepping up. I love him for that.
7. Simple abundance. I appreciate my life. Instead of sweating the small stuff like errand running, clothes washing, and house cleaning, to name a few of my many smalls stuffs, I am loving the big stuff. Not only that, I realize that the small stuff is circumstantial and inconsequential to being happy at the end of the day. The big stuff, ironically coming in packages of all sizes, is certain and unshakable under all of life's possible circumstances.
6. Help. I have been forced to learn to graciously accept help. For me that means letting go of the self-reliant stubbornness that I usually find myself holding onto so tightly. The truth is, allowing others to help, opens a door for letting down my guard and being vulnerable and humble.
5. True friends and fabulous family. My true friends and fabulous family shine through in their random, but deliberate and thoughtful acts of kindness. They hurt, struggle, cry, smile, laugh, and celebrate with me, making these uncertain days a little less scary and a lot more comfortable. Our relationships are stronger because we are sharing in this experience.
4. The still perspective. Instead of being a part of the rat race, I am forced to sit still as the world around me keeps going. Things look differently when you are still and everything else is moving. I have an invitation to make "stillness" a part of my everyday life, even when I am not confined to the bed. Granted, I am getting it in rather large doses right now, but I think making time to be still is a necessity if I really want to hear and know what The Man Upstairs has in store for me.
3. Prayer power. I am living proof of the power of prayer. I have always been an extremely private person, not one to share much about my personal life. This is all part of my obsession to be self-sufficient. This pregnancy has changed all of that. First we were told that the baby might not make it through the night, and he did. Next, we were told that he might not make it through the next few weeks, and he did. Then, we were told that even if the baby makes it, he and I are at risk for serious health issues. I did not know how to sleep at night with that uncertainty constantly looming over me. But, guess what? I did sleep. I am sleeping because I asked everyone I know and even people I don't know to pray for us. And here I am at 24 weeks pregnant, 103 days of bed rest, and the baby is looking good and so am I. That's not to say we are out of the woods, but we have defied our doctors' logic to this point. That's the power of prayer. So if you are one of those prayer warriors that have helped us along the way, THANK YOU! You are keeping us going.
2. The Takeover. There is nothing scarier to a parent than hearing that your baby's life and health are at risk. I am in the middle of one of those life situations that proves I am not in control here. I could worry myself sick each day, but that is not healthy, nor will it make the situation better. When things in life get so overwhelming, the only thing we can do is let go, and just trust God to completely take over. It is almost counter intuitive, but it's true. God is in charge anyway. No matter how things turn out, I believe God is good and full of love. Whatever happens will be full of purpose and part of the hand-painted, big picture God is creating for me.
1. My little miracle. No matter how you look at it, every child in this world is a miracle. So many things have to happen just right for a child to end up in the hands of his parents. I have said so many times that there really is no better gift in life than holding your baby for the first time, made by the hands of God and entrusted to you. It is truly divine. So, I can do bed rest for as long as I need to in the hopes of getting to hold my new, precious, thriving miracle at the end of this journey. It will be so worth it.